another friday?

Olympia will always be a sunny half-world. It seems to have been created out of the mind of a deranged easterner--someone yearning for wet warmth and overgrowth, scared of the endless expanses of the midwest and so decided to erect all these stripmalls and concrete abberations.
However, I seem to be catching up. The safe serenity of smoking a pipe in this tiny messy cream-colored room, stumbling down the hall to the bathroom, which is entirely coated in the overflow of human bodies, and I wonder to myself, will there someday be a me who couldn't stand these living conditions? Will I someday be a person who can keep money in the bank, who can vaccuum twice weekly?
It's a relief to be here with Tanner. To be mesmerized by the skin on his back and to take drives along these circular western roads, but I know we both yearn for new england. How solid the trees, there, the ones that know their place and grow only so tall. Will I miss all the mid-day sunshowers?
-Adrienne

Where is A? i need my pretty bird to sit with me on this lonely branch.

Found on a little scrap of Notebook paper

Smoke rolls
around your tongue
like copper trees
on a bright
summer day
warm metal
on your
shiny scales
you frighten
the fish
away.
you frighten me
too.

-t

eat my muffinhead

I'm climbing into my father's car today and it's humid. When he's upset this cold steam rises from his shoulders and pollutes the air, but he never says anything. I ask him, "Are you unhappy?" and he says no, shrugs it off, makes small talk, until the, "well I'm a little disappointed you didn't tell me you were going away this week."
And he tells me all these things about myself and people and relationships. How there are always cracks between people and a central relationship is one part of your life, but if you spend all your time trying to pave over the cracks and make one relationship perfect you won't have time for any other parts.
I'm full of righteous indignation, as usual when someone tries to oppose my view of my future, but I can't help but think
I am just like everyone else. If I've learned anything it's that what I ever have to struggle with is the same thing billions have struggled with before me. I am effected and controlled by the same electrical impulses, by the same synapses, the same hormones as all the human race. To follow my own passions, even in relationships, perhaps it's useless. passions have been done before, right? Have they always failed unless needlessly tempered?
My father's psychology analogies have permeated my thinking. Where I used to see the searching squid tentacles of common interest/liking reaching out between people I now see cement sidewalks, broken during the thaw.
I've thrown carpets over some of the cracks in the sidewalk squares, and i'm trying to pad lightly so i don't sink in, but I've only got a little bit of cement and I'm gonna keep trying to make this one square perfect.
cause astroturf too fuckin' expensive
-adrienne, 1:45 a.m. aprox. 47 hrs until return to wa. smoked: yes. tired: no. harmless: tonight.

Ok, a few weeks ago i went and saw Deerhoof at the Eagles Club here in Olympia, and afterwords we went to eat at the Ribeye, which is like a local all night diner, and Deerhoof was there too (that's Slim Moon on the right). So i talked to them a bit, and they let me take a few pictures. I've got a crapload more if anyone wants to see them. They were amazing live. Nice people too.

Wolf thighs

Went to see Wolf Eyes last night @ Chop Suey, opening for DJ Spooky... which was kind of a strange combination... Got to spend a few hours before the show with Nate, Eric and their new guy (from Hair Police) Conley (not in the picture... that's just a friend.) Eric Olsen's pretty funny, he seemed like an old school coke fag, in the best way, and Nate just seemed like a zombie, but from what i've been told, he's usually quite congenial. Conley was a ball of energy, kind of reminded me of my uncle steve.... Either way they were all really nice guys to talk to, and i was able to get a copy of Nest Material's Album to them, and they seemed genuinly interested in giving it a listen... so Great! The show was intense, my first time seeing them, they were quite a bit different on stage than back, screaming, pumping their fists, and put on a better show than i was honnestly expecting - they kept me interested with their textures, and the pure heaviness of their crushing sound had me mesmurized - i can't say it was the best show i've seen in a while, but it was definatly one of the most interesting, and memorable experiences.

Album of the Week

Nagisa Ni Te's newest offering is this 40 minute ep Dream Sounds, which by most standards is called a full length, but concidering this Tokyo duo's propesity for long minimalist Neil Young inspired guitar passages forty minutes for four tracks is definatly an EP.
This album is the soundtrack for those first weeks of summer, before it gets too hectic with all our over ambitions summer plans, and before the heat get's to be the reason for staying indoors nursing the air conditioner... the songs are warm and inviting, hinting a certain feeling of early 70's folk, (think Neil, CSNY...) mixed with an ultra modern international aestetic and retro revisionism, a la Phoenix's first album (not there second, OC inspired asswash.) but not so much that it s(l)ickens.
On the contrary, Nagisa Ni Te are first and formost ernest and honnest with these songs. They delightfully blend jangling pop, soft strummed long burners, brief shimmering disonance and quiet clean staccato leads, with heartfelt, plain sung lyrics, into the sublime and temperate.

By the end Dream Sounds leaves us feeling like the summer may last forever, and that we may have the time we need to enjoy it, providing we press play again.

Adrienne onboard

Here I am, writing in Tanner's blog almost as if I am insinuating myself into his brain! Now my thoughts are your thoughts, m'dear, and there ain't nothing you can do about it.
Spent more time in bed this morning resetting my alarm than I did sleeping. The dozing off was continual until I had a dream in which Tanner told me he'd made out with that girl who asked him out on a date a few days ago.
Made out. That's not the right term for this, too positive. He could make out with me (and does!) but with another girl it would be...let's just call it Lip Mashing and Grinding.
But that didn't really happen so let's not dwell.
The sun is far too bright today, I step outside and the sun can see the dirt beneath my fingernails, my dry cracked lips sucking on that cigarette because I Am An Addict. I am sending myself off into this sunny whirlpool of Feminine wiles and temper tantrums, heading south and already I'm throwing a fit in my mind.
I begin to think, perhaps the only way for a person to ever feel powerful in this world is to acknowledge to oneself that one has the ability to inflict serious pain onto others.
Would feeling powerful diminish the need to rage at others?
My anthropomorphized sun is rage. It bathes me in warmth, and just when I'm rolling around naked, it tears me apart. Others can SEE you, it tells me. Others can see you, are you prepared for that possibility?

Up all night... Son of a....

Bitch. Should not have done this. Now i've got three pages to write, seminar, no sleep and a wicked inferiority complex. I did try to sleep, i really did, but right around the time i was finally blinking out the kid in the dorm next to me's alarm clock started blaring, and didn't stop till around 8am, when i finally got up and went into his room to strangle him with its cord. No luck, he wasn't even in his room... Eh. gotta go for a walk before class, get some coffee, get some eggs or something to eat for fucksake. i think i'm loosing weight again. I think i need to stop listening to Songs: Ohia when i get up in the morning, Didn't it Rain, kind of puts a shade on the whole day. ABBA, that... that would do it i bet, that'll give me a kick in the ass for sure.

Have fun at your sis's A. bring me back a puppy or snowglobe, either one.

Awaiting A

So A. has decided to grace this blog with her wit and observations, i'm expecting the next post to be one of her's...

Here i am at denny's debating if i've done enough research to justify making another phone call.

Nest Material

Ok, so if i didn't mention it before, i'm mentioning it now - i play keys and make noise in a band called Nest Material, it's been my pet project for about a year now and our first official album is coming out in a few weeks and should be available at Aquarius Records (.org) Mike and Ben are putting the finishing touches on the mix and getting the packaging together, i so wish i were back on the east coast to help out with something, i feel so useless here. But anyway, here's a link to Ben's Live Journal
You can find a link there to one of the finished tracks, called "all howling dogs and bird sounds" if you're into the whole free noise / psych / folk scene that's going around like the bird flu than this is right up your ally, and since we're out of Vermont, we're technically on the cutting edge of it all. So yeah, catch the wave dood.

So i had this dream...

And it woke me up, i guess, cause i got up and typed it on my computer and i had completely forgotten about it till noticed i had emailed myself today after class... i don't remember any of this which is what makes it kind of funny, the details anyway, but if anyone has any idea what they think it means let me know.

...had a dream that i was watching a threes company episode, and it segways in as jack and a buddy are at like a fancy seafood restaurant and are paying, and the waiter says that'll be 200dollars, an jack goes to pay but the other guy says, no no, i'm a member, i'll handle this, and gets jack a discount, then i walk by and it's my show now, and i'm feeling nervous cause it's real fancy, i find a seat, and i'm meeting adrienne there but she's not here yet so i sit, and i feel uncomfortable the waitress isn't coming yet, and i notice there is another restaurant along the same boardwalk, so i get up and walk down, and it's a chain streak restaurant like, outback, and i look at the menu, and i'm about to sit down here instead when i notice adriennes mother is the server here, and i get really embarassed for her and sneek back to my seat...

So i said Bring it, and she said....

So i told Natalie to go fuck herself today, felt good, real good. she kind of flinched, and asked me what i said, and i looked her straight in the face and said "Go. Fuck. Yourself. Natalie." she kind of stuttered something and then zipped off. Though afterwords i had the shakes a bit, i tried to figure out why that was and came to the conclusion that no matter how much i hate a person, how badly i want to hurt them, i will always end up wondering if i could have done something differently. Which i suppose is true, i could have been the bigger person and just let things go but i've had about enough of that bitch's fuckery. I've had to sit quietly for the past six months and watch her slowly drag A. down with her guilt trips and insensativity. She only cares about herself, and her standing in what i can only imagine what she perceives as the "scene" here. Reguardless of all that, she could be fucking hitler, and i'd leave her be, but that she's hurt A. i can't leave alone. So here's a bad picture of that stupid stupid girl, and a big fuck you to boot. eat shit and die natalie.
(Ok, i edited out the picture at A's request. which is to bad, it was a doozy.)

Sunday Evenings...

Are probably the worst. School in the morning, gotta get to bed on time, finish up that homework you started friday after class but promptly abandoned in order to begin filling your head with all those unessesary extravagances, take that shower, shave those whiskers, find something clean to wear, or more likely find something that doesn't smell like ass. get rid of all those empty packs of cigarettes (did i really smoke this many in three days?) refile the vinyl, check the new baggage under your eyes, reaccess your mental state, (yeah, ok i ready for another week of this...)

And in my case, pine for the warm lap of a certain special girl to rest my aching head on, who's tiny fingers will rake all the impurities out of my mind.

missing you A.